I am a BAMMER (Below Average Minister)

The average age of ministers in the United Church of Canada is 56 years old. For those of us under that age, there is a Facebook group called BAM! (Below Average Age) that we can take part in for collegial support, lively discussions and for asking for help figuring out what book is best for a child who's grandparent has passed away or if there is a prayer out there somewhere for a Sunday after a week of tragedy.

While the group started out as being limited to those under the average age of ministers, I know that a few have gained entry after arguing they were 'younger at heart'. Regardless of age, the group is insightful, encouraging and, often times, highly irreverent. There can be full on theological arguments going on in the thread of one post while the next will simply have this image posted...↝

When I began my call at Symons Valley United Church, my mentor suggested to me that I take care to let congregation members know that I wasn't as young as I might look. While I didn't feel all that young, I could have been mistaken for someone with less life experience than I possessed. And, the congregation knew I was just finishing my ministry training. And I was following an older male. So, being a younger-looking woman, fresh out of school might not help in gaining confidence in my leadership potential. My mentor told me, 'every time you get the chance, tell people about your 14 year old son' - giving people a sense that I did have some years of experience in life behind me.

I thought that perhaps this advice was a little over the top until one day, three months after I started at SVUC. In a discussion with a male member of the congregation who was, at most, ten years older than me, I was told that my leadership was great considering I was under the age of thirty. THIRTY?! I was on the verge of exiting my thirties at that point and he thought I was even younger than thirty. I broke the news that I was about to turn forty and he didn't know what to do with that information. We just let the conversation end there. 

When I was commissioned, a great friend gave me this book, The Girlfriends' Clergy Companion by Melissa DeRosia, Marianne Grano, Amy Morgan and Amanda Riley. These women, recognizing how challenging it can be for people under the age of thirty to be taken seriously in ministry, particularly women, found support with one another during their first calls after being ordained. And then they wrote this book together to help other young female ministers.

Most of the issues these young women ministers face are not really applicable to me at this stage of my life and this stage of my ministry but it was interesting to have a look at what issues do arise for new grads and ministry candidates. I hope that I now have some extra wisdom to offer the next fresh-faced ministry student and/or recent grad so that I can be of help just as my mentor was of help to me.

From the chapter titled, "Married...with PKs", written by Melissa DeRosia. (A PK is a preacher's kid.)

A colleague asked me once which day I took off each week. I laughed. I laughed hard. Day off? How, as a pastor, mother, and wife, would you define as a day off?

For the record, my definition of a day off is - the day when the kids are in school, the dear spouse is at work and I am in my craft room. 😄